Tell us your story, Chicago: Begin to name your dead!

“We are easily shocked by crimes which appear at once in their full magnitude, but the gradual growth of our own wickedness, endeared by interest, and palliated by all the artifices of self-deceit, gives us time to form distinctions in our own favor.” – Samuel Johnson

I remember reading a comment – on a thread – at Boston.com a few years ago, and it has never left me. Readers were asked to share their views on whether the public responds with the same empathy, and if the press gives equal coverage when a Black child goes missing.

The question was relevant at the time because a Black mother was desperately trying to get media coverage for her missing daughter. As I read the thread it made me consciously think about how Elizabeth Smart, Jaycee Lee Dugard and Shawn Hornbeck had become household names, yet I could not think of a single name of a child from another racial group who was ever used to represent missing or dead kids. Do Asian kids go missing or get kidnapped? How about Hispanics?

Whether we will admit it or not, the fact is, we respond differently to incidents of crime and murder based on the victims, and sometimes based on their race. Currently, we are having a conversation (I use the word loosely) about second amendment rights, and gun violence, not because as a country we collectively decided to question our values. We are having a conversation because Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford was seriously injured, and 20 kids (and six adults) at Sandy Hook elementary school were murdered in cold blood. And to get any major legislation passed in this country, the types of people we are asked to mourn or support matter. It is a dirty little secret everyone knows, but we do not discuss. Don’t take my word for it, ask Claudette Colvin. We know of Rosa Parks, and because of her, certain civil rights legislation passed much quicker than they would have. But, Rosa Parks was not the first person to refuse to give up her seat. She was just the first “squeaky clean” person. A story Claudette Colvin knows only too well.

But back to the comment that struck a chord with me. One of the respondents said (paraphrasing), our hearts do not bleed when a Black child goes missing because we have become desensitized. Black folks kill each other in great numbers everyday, so why should we care about another one? I repeat for emphasis – Black on Black crime is so prevalent that very little value is placed on a Black life. No one notices or cares when a Black child goes missing because many die in the hood everyday.

“… and slowly, like a long new thread,
introduced into that picture-sequence
where now having to go on bewilders us.” – Rainer Maria Rilke, Childhood

The shootings in Newtown, CT ripped our hearts out. President Obama led us in crying, and many of us regardless of political stripes followed his lead. The crime was horrific, and the shock so great that most of us will forever remember where we were when the shootings occurred. It was a tragedy that was incomprehensible to us; it drove us to love our kids more, be more vigilant, expect more security from those guarding our kids, and we called on our leaders to act. Cities and schools all across America sent home letters with information on how to talk to our kids, schools updated policies, provided grief counseling, and moments of silence. Towns and cities revised crisis management information, and law enforcement officials ran simulated drills. World leaders called, so did our family and friends, and social media lit up like a million Christmas trees.

Why?

Twenty kids died and they mattered; they were innocent, beautiful, and they were in a place we expected them to be safe. Yet a depraved, crazed gunman took a gun, and mowed them down, and we said enough. Part of our response I am sure had to do with the sheer numbers, but it was their age that tugged at our emotional Richter scale. They were kids who had their whole lives ahead if them, and they did not deserve to die.

“Pour out your heart like water
For the lives of your children
Let justice roll down like waters
Righteousness like an everflowing stream.”

In 2012, over 500 persons were murdered in Chicago. Of that amount at least 60 were school-age children. Of the number already dead in 2013, 29% are school-age kids or teenagers. The deaths in Chicago are so staggering that an “apples to apples” comparison no longer occurs against other cities. The deaths of school aged children in Chicago are now compared to the number of soldiers that have died in Afghanistan – in a war.

Chicago has gotten some coverage, primarily because this is the hometown of the sitting president. It is also in the news because Chicago is one of the most cited sources for proponents of the second amendment in making the case that restricting gun ownership does not work. These are all valid reasons to shine the spotlight, but the elephant in the room has surely got to be the number of murdered kids, and the absence of a national outcry. Do we know their names? Have we seen their faces? Did we share their stories on Facebook? Do they make us cry? Did our friends call from overseas? Do we know their favorite sports teams?

Sure, the deaths in Chicago did not occur all at the same time. There is something about mass killings that lends an even greater sadness to an already tragic situation. But 60 young lives were lost in 2012, and where is the outrage?

A President led us in mourning for the kids from Sandy Hook, as he rightly should. He visited Newtown for the memorial service, as he rightly should. He met with the families, and grieved with them, as he rightly should. We made cards, and had our kids do numerous projects, and helped in any way we could. And when we couldn’t help, we felt helpless, as we rightly should.

The President finally made it to Chicago last week, and the First Lady attended the funeral of Hadiya Pendleton, a young life lost to gun violence. She mattered because she was one of the performers at the President’s inauguration.

Shirley Chambers, a Chicago mother has lost her four kids to gun violence. Four! Can we feel her pain? Do we think the families in Chicago had a great Christmas in 2012? We knew the ones in Newtown could not because they lost their kids. Neighbors spoke of the guilt of celebrating Christmas when 20 kids would not be home for Christmas. Did communities and neighbors scale back their holiday activities because 60 kids died in Chicago?

The deaths in Chicago supply us with additional information that some Chicago parents already know. How we respond to great tragedy also depends on where you die. And it sure as hell matters if you are rich or poor, live in areas where “things like this never happen,” or you live in crime and rat infested areas. It matters if you die in suburbia or in neighborhoods with exceptionally high unemployment, poverty and single family households; where things like this always happens, and being murdered is how everyone expects you would die.

A kid living in urban America knows they are not viewed as having their entire lives ahead of them. If they survive, we just say, so glad you made it; you sure beat the odds.

Parents, law enforcement officials, community activists, and everyone else in Chicago – listen up. The time is now; America is listening at this very moment as there is some emotional capital left. You get one shot to have us listen, but please don’t tell us about the issues plaguing your community. To keep our attention, you must find a way to link the deaths in Chicago with the ones in Newtown, and have it register in our psyche that 60 of your school-age kids – America’s kids – died in 2012, and that number rises to over 270 for the last few years. You must appeal to us as parents, and neighbors, and fellow Americans. You must appeal to the good in all of us. You must let us know that where, or how a child is murdered should not diminish the tragedy, lessen the pain or outcry.

Chicago – it has to be an emotional argument, not the facts on gun violence, poverty or urban decay, because we are desensitized. Tell us their stories, show us their teddy bears, and let us cry with you. And finally, someone must have the courage to tell us these words, as they are the only words that will help you. Chicago – you must say, America, let’s pretend all the victims are white.

2012 in Rear View – The year of some Beauty and some Beasts

2012 is almost fully in the rear view mirror and true to the cliché, it was the best of times, and the worst of times. Hurricane Sandy upended and ravaged communities, especially in NY and NJ. And an unthinkable and heinous act of immense proportions took place in Newtown, CT, and left families reeling and grieving. The deaths in Newtown also made a nation and a world stop and take stock of what is important, started a heated dialogue around school safety, gun violence and rights. And the losses tore a gigantic hole in all our hearts.

On the world stage the Middle East, and surrounding regions again took center stage. Hamas fired rockets; Israel “cut the grass,” Iran continued its enrichment program, and the Syrian government continued to slaughter its own people. Wars also occupied parts of Africa with the current crop of rebels and freedom fighters jostling to be tomorrow’s dictators. Back at home there was a war on everything – war on Christmas, on women, on religious freedom, on the first and second amendments. Yes, we had all out wars!

While we engaged in the sometimes trite and predictable culture wars, such as women bodies shutting down in cases of rape, we also found out some administrators at Penn State placed greater emphasis on a football program than defenseless, innocent boys in their care. Elsewhere, there were real wars on women and kids, as evidenced by the honor killings, shootings and gang rapes, such as the brutal and grisly rape and murder of a 23-year-old medical student in India. And in Pakistan we were again reminded that more than any army what the Taliban fears most is a girl who can read, and help shape her own future. But, thanks to Malala Yousafzai’s heroism, many young women found their own voices even as Kasandra Perkins, girlfriend of lineback Jovan Belcher, lost hers.

We lost Ravi Shankar, Zig Ziglar, and Daniel Inouye, long-time Hawaii senator who chose to fight for his country at a time when Japanese Americans were being rounded up and wrongly imprisoned. We said goodbye to Neil Armstrong, the first man in space, and Sally Ride, the first American woman in space.

Big Bird took up too much space, and the two biggest egos decided they could share the same space, and even have a baby taking up yet more space.

Image Credit – Getty Images

Travyon Martin and Jordan Davis’ tragic deaths reminded Black mothers and fathers everywhere that having little Black boys is a dangerous and ever worrying job. By their mere existence they pose a threat, and armed with skittles or loud music they can be downright dangerous. Black parents also know that Black boys get no protection, unlike spotted owls and red wolves, registered endangered species. Journalism remained a dangerous job with 70 killed in the line of duty. Teaching is slated to join the list of most dangerous professions.

In the world of entertainment, we lost Whitney Houston, Larry “JR” Hagman, and Etta James, but no one said, At Last. We also lost Hector “Macho” Camacho, and in the fight of the year Manny Pacquiao lost in the sixth round to Juan Manuel Marquez.

Willard “Mitt” Romney lost to one Barack Hussein Obama surprising few – except those in full epistemic closure – thanks to Nate Silver’s statistical brilliance and political savvy. Obama’s victory contributed to an on-air meltdown of seismic proportions, on the most trusted name in news, proving yet again that bubble wrap can be dangerous. Post election left the GOP with a lot of head scratching, hand wringing and even a conciliatory tone on immigration. Hispanics could stay, but Piers Morgan has to go.

Antarctica also had a meltdown, we are told, but it took Sandy with all its horrors to bring climate change back to the discussion table. EPA administrator, Lisa Jackson learned the hard lesson – Paetraeus already knows – about using email tactics, so she resigned from the EPA. But, thanks to her we know how much mercury, arsenic and other toxins we should be allowed to swallow. So who will tackle fracking, cap and trade, ozone pollution and coal? Kyoto anyone?

God cried wolf again as the world did not end on December 21, as promised. With the reprieve we spent the time shopping, drowning ourselves in more debt, and creating our own fiscal cliffs.

We had unforgettable terms and phrases  in 2012. There were “LIBOR frauds,” the “London Whale,” “Greek debt” and the still pending “Eurozone breakup.”  In our quest to fully politicize the Benghazi affair, four public servants were relegated “the footnote.” Then there were my favorites – the “new normal,”  “binders full of women,” “horses and bayonets,” “#Eastwooding,” “kick the can down the road,” “job creators,” and the perpetual “fiscal cliff.”

We had significant and dubious decisions too. There were massive bank fines on both sides of the Atlantic, and a Nobel Prize that kept Old Europe relevant.  Then there was the win for Obamacare surprising almost everyone.

In the world of sports, Andy Murray broke through, Serena and Federer became known as the oldies, but goodies, and Lightning Bolt again electrified us and cemented his place in history. Messi broke records; Beckham retired and Colts coach, Chuck Pagano came back with a dance. RG3 mesmerized us, and piqued our interest off the field as well. And, thanks to ESPN commentator, Rob Parker, we found out you cannot be Black and vote Republican (note to self), not unless you are “cornball.” Gabby leapt into the record books, but not before we had her fix her hair, and the Jets guaranteed that drama queen is now gender neutral.

Paula Broadwell was “All In,” and spy chief, David Petraeus was out. So was Scott Brown, Vikram Pandit, Robert Diamond, Avery Johnson, Robert DiMatteo, Norv Turner, Lovie Smith, Andy Reid and Romeo Crennel. Anderson Cooper came out, and Susan Rice was ousted out of a job she never had.

The Pope sent his first tweet. The Queen paid her first visit to a Cabinet meeting during her 60 year reign. And the woman who may someday be queen, Kate Middleton is pregnant, guaranteeing long-term work for the paparazzi and royal watchers everywhere.

Blue Ivy Carter was born and so was Black Ivy (hello to my baby). Hostess Brand and Twinkies died, and with it scores of jobs. The best selling products were the Ipad3, Iphone 5 and Samsung Galaxy 3. The Avengers was the highest grossing movie and South Korean pop sensation, Psy wowed us with Gangnam style snatching about a billion YouTube viewers. Not to be outdone, words made an entrance with socialism being the most googled word. Obama cried twice, had the most tweeted picture, and for that he won Time Person of the Year. Marijuana – pot – became legal – no, no, not in Jamaica, but in Washington state and Massachusetts. And I should end on that high note. What were your moments from 2012?

Happy New Year and best wishes for 2013!